email ni sebenarnya dah lama dok tersimpan dlm mailbox.,,sayang nak buang sbb mmg bermakna dan best bagi me la....so nak share ngan kwn kwn yg sudi "lepaking" kat blog cabuk ni..

 This is a very good article. Those who are still single may

 learn something

from here...

 Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to

 improve your

 marriage & relationship ...

 DID

 I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

 During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common

 question. She said,

 "How do I know if I married the right person?"

 I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so

 I said, "It

 depends. Is that your husband?"

 In all seriousness, she answered "How do you

 know?"

 Let me answer this question because the chances are good

 that it's weighing on

 your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell

 in love with your

 spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their

 touch, and liked

their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

 Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact,

 it was a completely

 natural and spontaneous experience.

 You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's

 called "falling" in

 love... Because it's happening TO YOU .

 People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my

 feet." Think about

 the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were

just standing there;

doing nothing, and then something came along and happened

 TO YOU .

 Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and

 spontaneous experience. But after

 a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love

 fades.It's the

 natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely,

 phone calls become a

 bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome

 (when it happens),

 and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead of being

 cute, drive you nuts.

 The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship,

 but if you think about

 your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference

 between the initial stage

 when you were in love and a much duller or even angry

subsequent stage.

 At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking,

 "Did I marry the

 right person?"

 And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the

 love you once had,

 you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

 This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their

 spouse for their

 unhappiness and look outside their marriage for

fulfillment.

 Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

 Infidelity is the most

 obvious.

 But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,

 excessive TV, or

 abusive substances.

 But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your

 marriage. It lies

 within it.

 I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with

someone else.

 You could.

 And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in

the same situation a few

years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT

 PERSON; IT'S

 LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or a spontaneous

 experience. It'll NEVER just

 happen to you.

 You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to

 "make" it day in

 and day out. That's why we have the __expression

"the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most

 importantly, it takes

 WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage

 work.

 Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are

 specific things you

 can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your

 marriage.

 Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as

 gravity), there are

 also laws for relationships. The right diet and exercise

 program makes you

 physically stronger, just as certain habits in your

 relationship WILL make your

 marriage stronger.

 It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply

 the laws, the results are

predictable... you can "make"love .

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not

 just a feeling.

 Remember this always :

"ALLAH determines who walks into your life. It is up

 to u to decide who u

let walk away, who u let stay, and who u refuse to let

go."